You know that moment when you think you’ve met someone, someone you think that may be the one to change everything. The one that makes up for everything that has happened in your past. The one that makes you realize that waiting isn’t always as bad as it seems. Well I’m back at that moment again, and this time is feels good. Better than it ever has before. I love every emotion I’m feeling right now. Excitment, nervous, anxious, and most of all terrified. But a good terrified. You know, like when you get that awful feeling in your stomach because you know you can’t control yourself. I’m overwhelmed with a certian person right now, and I can’t seem to get enough. I want to know everything, where he came from, how he grew up, and most of all what he wants out of life. I’ve never wanted to get to know someone so much. I barley know this person, yet I feel like i’ve known him for a while. I just hope everything plays out as planned and God takes us to places we’ve never dreamed of. I see a great friendship ahead, maybe even more.
It’s sad, you know how selfish some of us can be.. I mean we live in a world where we complain about not having an outfit when we have a whole closet full of clothing, and we say we don’t have anything to eat when we have a whole pantry stalked with food. Yet, there are people in our very own country who would love to have the shirt on your back. And most of all, they would die to have anything you had left in your fridge. It’s just a shame, we don’t think about how good we actually have it. We complain about not having a boyfriend/girlfriend while others are just wanting to have a mother or father. And to us “we got it bad” when honestly we are truly blessed. Start being thankful for everything you do have instead of complaining about the things that you don’t have. Because trust me, someone somewhere is praying to be in your shoes.
We live in a world that calls failure a weakness, and weakness a flaw. We are taught to mask the truth because, “it’s better if you keep that to yourself”. And that the best way to lead is from our strengths, not our weakness. If I can be honest, I think our world has built itself on a shallow and narrow foundation that is ready to break at any second. I know this is just my opinion, but I think I have a pretty valid point to stand upon. I believe in a God of Grace, love, and second chances. And if it wasn’t for those divine qualities all working together, I can promise you that I wouldn’t be standing here today. I’m not proud of my past, but I wear my scars on my sleeve because I am proud of who I’ve become in Christ. Those scars remind me that with God I can conquer all things, and that through Him healing is possible. My failures and mistakes are not my most treasured moments. But, because of His Love, I am now a living testimony of His redemption and grace. Guess what? So are you. Your story is His glory. Share it to the world. Don’t hide your scars, wear them as proof that God heals.
We think that moving away will change things, that we will meet different people and our lives will just be great. Honestly, when you leave you just end up with the same people. They just have different names. No matter how hard we try to get away from the past, it will always be breathing over our shoulder. We all want change, we all want something to make us happy and forget about all of the hurt and letdowns. I’m ready to be nothing but happy, I’m so sick of hearing the same things over and over again. Yeah, it’s someone else saying it, but it still hurts the same. The way it effects me is still the same. I just want people to accept me for who I am, not who they want me to be. I’m over being compared to someone else. When you put someone in your past, that’s where they should stay. It’s your responsibility to move on.
From the time we’re born, we’re encouraged to act in a certain way. Most of these things are to our benefit. Learning what is acceptable behavior and unacceptable allows us to function in society, learn with others in a classroom type atmosphere, work with others in a business environment. As we grow up, our peers mold us further, encouraging us all to dress alike, talk alike, what is ‘cool,’ and what is not…When, then, is it OKAY to be different? When do we learn to think for ourselves, decide what we believe in, act in the way we think is right, spend time doing what we love? We become so homogenized it makes it almost painful to stand out in any way.
See that’s what I do. That’s all I’ve ever done and things have started to change. So many things have been changing around me. It’s as if I’m suspended in the air and all I want to do is get my feet back on the ground. I’ve let these people into my life so quickly and they’ve gotten so close to me that it scares me. It’s not a lot of people that I feel this way about. I’ve tried pushing people away from me and surprisingly they wouldn’t let me. That’s a first for me. Usually when I try to push people away they get pushed away, ya know? It scares me how fast I’ve let people in to my life and I’m scared that they’ll leave. I’m starting to get attached, I’m already quite attached to them and if I push them away I won’t have to deal with the pain of when they leave. To me, that’s completely normal. It’s like, if I’m the one to push them away then it’s better than them up and leaving. Too many people have left me, and I guess thats what people do. People always leave. They come and they go. I guess that’s why I’m so good at leaving. Instead of facing my problems, I walk away from them. And that’s something I want to change.
1. Rainy days, spent reading or writing.
2. Baking anything and everything.
3. The Lumineers, Angus and Julia Stone, Hunter Hayes, and Frank Ocean.
4. Spending time with my brother. He is growing up so fast
5. Any type of high waisted clothing.